learn to appreciate

Found this posted by my old friend, Dilly. found it so interesting and well, true. It could happen to either a boy or a girl. read up..

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Boy:I broke up with her.

His Best Friend:What happened?

Boy:She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend:What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy:Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy:Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy:But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy:I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t b●tch about it.

His Best Friend:So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy:Well, she..

His Best Friend:You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy:I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend:You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened

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we don't always cherish and be grateful to what we have. sometimes what we feel bothersome and a burden done by the other, it is actually done with good intentions, but we misinterpret it. So learn something from this, be grateful with what you have, and look deeper in someone, do not just judge by the surface. You might not see something good when it is right in front of you, and when you finally realize it, it was a minute too late.

that's a shame, ain't it?

izzuddin ismail

i have never thought in a million years i would date a guy like him, but i did. him with his super curly hair, weird sense of humor, but very sweet indeed. when he asked me to be his girl, i was so afraid that i would end up breaking this sweet guy's heart. but instead he ended up breaking up mine

i never thought i would learn to love you, but i did. and now when u gone, i really2 missed u. i hate it that we've broken up over your misconception of me, when i was not lying at all. i have no energy to fight with u anymore, when u had set ur mind on that misconception of me. so i just give up, and let u think whatever u want to think of me.

this is the truth, i loved you izzuddin ismail, but u have just lost me.

Meet Maru ;D

this cat is freaking cute!

lost and forever missed~

over the years, i have lost ppl that are dear to my heart, and still the pain from it lingers. though some don't hurt anymore, i do miss them sometimes. well, that's life.

1. Muhammad Farid bin Abdul Malik (kay)

2. Nadhirah Muhiyuddin

3. Abdul Azim Fikri

4. Mohd Hafiz Haqiqi

5. Khairul Anuar

6. Mohd Shahril bin Sa'at

u guys used to be my best friend and the love of my life. but now for some reason, we all drifted apart, some by death, most by stupid quarrels over meaningless things, and some because of the failure to appreciate the friendship and love we had build over the years. I miss u guys, but I know I have lost you all. Sorry for everyting that had happened, and I wish you all nothing but happiness and success in your life. I wish things had gone differently, or we could be like before, but all is in god's willing. i have already accepted this fate of our friendship.

people who don't make it to your future, means that they are not meant to be there~

hormones

My hormones are going crazy, n I am reeked with anxiety. ugh! i always do something stupid and crazy when my hormones get cuckoo

damn u crazy hormones!

why do women love bad boys?

I myself have to admit, that I always had a thing for bad and naughty guys, and it always ended with me saying, not again!!! Lol.. I known the story line so well already, but I keep playing the same ending over and over again, and I get so frustrated with myself, thinking what the hell is wrong with me, when your friends seems to be making the right choices, and already have their Mr.right.. so why do I keep falling to that same old trap? I'm sure this does not happen to just me, but to alot of other women out there. so it got me thinking.. so these are the reasons that I can came up with.

1. the adrenaline rush when u spend time with them, which usually is very wild

we are seeking for the rush and excitement they gave us when they take you on that wild ride

2. they always promised a good time

lets face it, bad boys knows how to have a good time, and they always deliver (most of the time at least)

3. the feeling of fixing things

women have this 'idea' they can fix things that are broken... bad guys usually seemed broken somewhere, so that's why they become, well, bad. so women take pity on them, and felt that they are the 'one' who will fix that, when so many other women before them had tried and failed. this fool's dream often left them dissapointed in the end

4. to tame wild animals

well, bad boys are viewed as wild animals. so, its a great feeling when u can tame a wild animal, making them sweet and cuddly with you, but not with others

5. devilish charm

bad boys often have their charm that u find hard to resist. sometimes u know he's bad for u, but u just can't help falling for him. they are devils in disguise

So now u know why we love bad guys =(

My top 5 breakup songs

Everyone have songs they can relate to during break ups.. well i recently went through a horrible break up, and so I compile the list just for fun =D

1. Adele- chasing pavement

thinking should i gave this relationship up, or keep trying to salvage it

2. feist- inside and out

its about me still loving him wholly evendoe he's a jerk and took advantage on me

3. alicia keys- try sleeping with a broken heart

trying to be strong evendoe im broken hearted, and trying to sleep when im hurting

4.avril lavigne- i miss u

when at times i felt his loss n missing him so much

5. la roux- bulletproof

thinkin that next time around i will be strong and let no one hurt me again

what are your break up songs??

a great man

i found this in facebook, been posted by someone.. it really touched me. here is a great man and a great leader, respected and adored by his people. this was what the person wrote about this particular picture.

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A minister's breakfast

When my family and I went to Kota bharu Kelantan during the last school holiday, my family went to have breakfast at a shop nearby our hotel. We were surprised and touched when we found the minister of Kelantan was having breakfast at that particular shop, alone without any bodyguards or government officers accompanying him..

Plus, he was the one who greet us first, and even ask my family to come and eat with him at his table. he asked us where we came from, and about our feelings when we are in kelantan and many more.. during our conversations, he never once brought up anything about politics or the stories about my state (negeri sembilan).. He even thanked us for coming and see for ourselves the condition in kelantan, rather than reading it from the newspapers or in television. We are even touched when he paid for our breakfast that morning..

*My state's minister himself was very hard to meet him, unless it is in official ceremonies that have publicity coverage only

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A great leader who is one of the people himself.. i am not a religious person per say, but i do adored him so much since i was little.

u recognize a great man by just looking at him =)

cravings~

nasi ambang johor

italliannies lasagna

secret recipe's choc indulgence

pepperoni pizza, stuffed crust with super duper extra cheese

I am craving for these lately. ugh i want you so bad! grrrrr.....

16/8/2010

ahh. ramadhan.. u finally came. welcome2! wow. on d 6th day of ramadhan, m still standing. hehe. i love fasting, never had been a problem to me before, not eating all day, cuz im used to it evendoe i have gastric.. i dunno, during fasting season my gastric rarely act up. mybe dats d way god is helpin me to get tru ramadhan.. im d kind of a person that loves to eat, but sumtyms wen im bz, i forgot to eat d whole day. but when i finally ate, i eat like a monster. i eat anytin in sight, literally. lol.

nothing much happened to me lately. juz moved back to shah alam last friday.. so now im stayin in shah alam for good.. finally found a house-to-rent with my frens. ppl asked me diz, shera, ur fam home is in shah alam, so y d hell do u need a house to rent?? haha i get tired n i do sometime felt silly n slightly embarrassed to answer it. but i answer them anyways. i have plenty of reasons, but the main is for studying purposes lah.. u see, i had stayed in boarding school, hostels etc for 7 years. my family home feels more to a 2nd home to me. i get so used to d idea that coming home during holidays is to relax, no books, no studying or such, that until now i cannot at all study at home. haiya.. it's true. it had been proven that during my 3 years of doing my degree, i have went back n forth to my fren's house in apartmen Ilham just to study. so that lesson, i learnt it well. This time around i tink its better that i live by myself.. heck my house is juz nearby, i'll be home most of the time anyways right. luckily my parents understood my reasons diz time around. tq mama n baba =D so i'll be staying in padang jawa after this. call me up ppl to lepak or anytin, its on!! LOL

so, i have a week's off before starting in HTAR on d 23rd.. nervous and anxious as to their acceptance of us MSU students being there. i do hope d specialists n doctors are good, friendly n helpful to us. I really wanted to learn from them, but when they started to be i dunno, cocky or watsoever, it such a turn off n i juz tried to get away as far as i can from them. well, human reflexes. haha.

life had been slow.. been doing alot of tinkin as to my love life. I'm really baffled. the past experiences wit Z was really traumatizing. i have been in a lot of relationships, and when it ended it left me juz fine. but this one leave me shaken and scared. i felt so insecure and not sure of my judgement anymore. i question my actions. i tried to move forward, but being close to someone made me hold back, and afraid to take d next step. i dunno, i dun feel anytin for him anymore. but d trauma still lingers. i hope i can get over it soon, as i dun wan to hurt other ppl in my life as to this problem. they dun deserve it. not from me.

Emil, my devil, finally learn to say no to him. i learn that some people are bad for u, no matter how much u love them. so u gotta leave before it got toxic, poisoning your system, and draining u to your death. if u get lucky u may be able to be resurrected, but u dun get second chances that often. so i leave when i can.. i do love him, and i am worried about him everyday. but sometimes u juz have to go and never look back.. I was just a play thing to him anyway, so y bother right. bye2 my handsome devil. i hope life treated u well, n u will finally find the peace and love that u r looking for to fill your hollow, empty soul. goodbye =)

As I look and reflect at my life, and the past events that had occurred, i juz can't help thinking. how the hell do I get here? why did things turn out the way they did? so many questions runnin tru this thick skull of mine. but this is all the results of the choices i made, and I have to live with it. But heck, life is about taking risks, and I had done my fair share. i have tried, some I have succeed, some end up with me crashed and burnt. Some i do regretted it, some I don't.. that's life right?

so I'm beginning a new chapter. I am hoping to a better life and working for a better future.. I'm not going to make resolutions anymore as I never stick to them. so I'm doing this one step at a time, taking it slow n just following the flow. the battle is over, but the war hadn't ended yet. n life is just one episode of a battle after another. another day we r up against new challenges. so good luck to me, n to others to with your battles. i hope we all will triumph. i pray we will.

so this is it for me. waiting still for sahur.. but signing off as i can't stand staring at this lappy anymore. eyesore. hehe.. till nex time, adios!

sexy!

People always ask me, what kind of a guy I like, that I am attracted to. Well that is a hard one. So I did a lot of thinking about it. I don't think I have any specific criteria whatsoever, because I had dated a broad range of guys before (bajet! LOL) . this is what I came about after analyzing my history of relationships and the guys i had been with.

I am attracted to guys who i found SEXY. LOL. not sexy as in take your shirt off, or have a body like Robert Pattinson, which is a plus if so =D so anyway, these are the things that i found as sexy in a guy.

1. long hair ( drool!, but not rebonded hair. that juz such a turn off)

2. lean (not buff, juz lean. perfect example- Brandon Boyd of Incubus)

3. fair. what can I say, opposite attracts. Choc n milk do mix n it is yummy

4. tall; at least taller than me. i like to tip on my toe juz to kiss u =P

5. good sense of humor

6. can play any musical instrument (girls dig musician, what can i say? lol)

7. can hold an intelligent conversation

8. snores when they sleep (super sexy, and so manly. LOL)

9. take charge of d situation, and dominant (the alpha male, grrr..)

10. knows when to be romantic; not too less, not excessively. juz right

11. Give good advices when you need it

12. a man who walk the talk

13. knowledgeable, wise, smart (being smart is super sexy)

14. respectful to others especially women

the list goes on and on. but in the end what I am looking for is juz someone whom i enjoyed his company, and he enjoyed mine, we have mutual attraction, and also chemistry with each other.

i know my kind of sexy. what about yours?

amidst the frogs

U know what they say, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before u can finally found your prince.

I am just looking for u

defeated~

have u ever felt so tired, that u have tried ur very best for everything, but still it wasn't enough. u woke up everyday feeling useless, as u look around everyone have found the strength to overcome their obstacles, but u are still there, not able to do anything. it gets overwhelming at times, n u feel defeated, tired to go on.

have u?

my girls!

my sisters

These three ladies beside me are my besties.. Had known them for years since i started college.. There are like my own sisters.

First the one in the white dress, Shasha. Known her since 4 years ago, during the second semster i think, and we have been close ever since. The weirdest girl I know (beside myself,LOL). She's cool, and have a quirky outlook on life. She's like my own sister in a way, always taking care of me and looking out after me. She's one hell of a driver, and she can take you on anytime if u want to race, believe me. D bravest girl I know. Going to get married real soon. Gonna miss her so much.

Second the one in the blue indian/arabic suit or watever i dunno, hehe. Her name is Nadia. The coolest girl i know. On very rare occasions u will see her panic, cuz most of the time she is her cool, relaxed self. She had got me all figured out after the 4 years we spent together in college. She is my advisor, my make up artist and my bestfriend. She was always there for me, and hear me whining everyday, but still she faithfully listens to me till diz day.

Thirdly, the girl in the black dress, the hot Putu! she's gorgeous ain't she?? she's so sweet, and always her helpful self. a great cook by the way! she's like a mother hen to me, always looking out after me, always cleaning me up so i dun look messy, which i am most of the time, hehe. She was always there when I need to bawl my eyes out.

They are my lifeline. Don't know what I would do without them. Thank you guys. Love u all to death =D

In love with these pair of....??

I had just bought these pair of heels.. Found it during my "weekly" scavenging hunt of wasting my money at KB Mall.. damn i love it so much! might not look much but when it is on you, BEAUTIFUL! And the best part is, I got it so cheap! Putu also bought the exactly same shoes, but different color. so my new lolita have twins then =) So I got my new 'kasut raya' already. yeay!

New look!

My new hair.. decided to change my hairstyle after so long sticking to the old one.. Have always wanted to have bangs =) but personally i don't think it suited me.. what do you think??

updating me- 2/8/2010

Hello! it had been so long since I have time to update my blog. been busy with studies and stuff. guess what? i got into the MBBS program under MSU. By using my degree, i got straight into 3rd year.. So right now currently I'm in Kelantan at Hospital Kota Bharu since 13th june 2010, supposedly posted here for the rest of my clinical years (which is another 3 years, lame!) At first i was skeptical, and sad too as I had always hated kelantanese, sorry to say. Its not that I'm saying that they are all nasty people. Its just that I have many bad experiences with kelantanese before, and it is kinda traumatizing, huhu. But i do have a few kelantanese friends, which are very nice (kipas2, fuuhhh2! huhu).

From the first day I came here, I have faced many obstacles and problems, which kinda dampened my spirit. Firstly, I cannot find a freaking house! Luckily I get to rent a guest house for one month until I finally get a permanent house, which is very nice and comfy.. Then my boyfriend, Muhammad Khairul Zakirin (yeah I'm announcing ur name dumbass!), just dissapeared as soon as I got to Kelantan. He surely don't take his time to stick around huh.Then got some family issues, but thank god that one had been resolved.. We don't have a car here, so we have to walk everyday to the hospital, didn't get to go anywhere on weekends, n hoping for other friends sympathy who have a car to help us to buy necessities and stuff.. I was so depressed at first, but luckily my housemates/besties, Nadia and Putu was always there supporting me, giving me the undying back up support. I love both of them to death =) The problems resolved slowly, and I was slowly adapting to the lifestyle and getting comfortable here..I got a big room, with complete furniture, a queen size bed, and a big wardrobe, and o course my broadband and the forever faithful lappy of mine.. what more could i ask for right?

then as always, my university, the lovely MSU, had always 'strives' to surprise us. Just two days after my parents brought the furniture for my room, they told us that we had to transfer to Hospital Klang due to some unresolved issues, and we have no say whatsoever in this. Dammit i was really angry. I have spent so much money coming here, faced so many bullshits, and finally when everything is well, they asked us to go home? i was thinking to burn down my university already! but after alot of thinking and reasoning, i think going home is the best option. well, i miss home anyway, and there is no entertainment at all here in kelantan.

So i have to transfer to hospital Klang by the end of my posting here at medical department, which is on 12th august.. gonna have a week break, then started in HTAR on 23rd.. So going to stay back home with my family in shah alam.. huh have to be mama's girl again, and lie here and there to get out of the house =( LOL.

So basically thats what had been going on with me. Currently am happy and juz trying to survive each day and stay healthy.. My health had taken its toll for the worst, so going back to shah alam is surely the best option as I can continue my treatments as soon as possible, and be well again.. Pray for me friends. so till next time, this is me signing off. cheerios!

falling for the devil himself

Have you ever fallen for someone that you know from the start is bad news, and you should have stayed away from them as far as you can, but you just cannot seem to stay away? you cannot resist their charm, you cannot resist it when you hear that sweet voice, luring and seducing you to them..

ladies and gentlemen, i present to you, The Devil.. this particular person is the Devil, who lured you with his sweet promises and lies, embedding you deeper and deeper in his web of sweet lies, until you yourself cannot differentiate what is true or not anymore.. he confused you, to the point you don't even trust your own judgement.. you know from the start that you cannot trust whatever he told you, you know that they are all just lies, but you cannot help from trusting him. you wanted to trust him. you need to trust him.

well, I'm falling for that Devil himself.. and i think I'm in love with him. and it is scary, but yet enticing.. I don't want to fall for him, i don't want him, but yet I cannot stay away.. his stories about his sadness and pain, his pleads and confessions of love for me, makes me so weak, and my heart fell for him.. I feel that I want to make him happy so badly, I want to make him smile again, I want to make him stop crying and stop his suffering.. I want to end his pain.

But is it worth it by sacrificing myself to eternal damnation for the sake of his happiness? oh my god, I am so going to hell for this..

Everybody say RAWWRR!!

~wish we all speaks dinosaur language.. :)

My condition: Adhesion Colic

To those who know me, often remember me with my common trait, which is so often fallen sick.. hehe its unwanted but inevitable. Alot of u had ask what is my problem exactly, and I have find it hard to explain to you all. So since the blog is running now, I have a chance here to clarify and explain to you all once and for all this condition of mine.. It is called "Adhesion Colic". It started after my appendectomy back in 2006.. So here are what I found out about it so far...

Colic; this one term encompasses a great myriad of abdominal diseases. Most horse-people are aware of the dangers of colic but it is important to realize that colic never happens alone. The nature of colic opens the door for a number of life threatening complications that can occur even months after the initial episode. Diagnosis and treatment of the problem is also not with out inherent risks that add to the already numerous complications that can occur.

Common Complications Associated with Colic:

· Intestinal Tissue Compromise/Necrosis

· Dependent Edema

· Endotoxic Shock

· Laminitis

· Intestinal/Gastric Rupture

· Dehydration/Diarrhea

· NSAID toxicity/Gastric Ulcers

· Rectal Tear

· Adynamic Ileus

· Adhesions

· Peritonitis

· Death

An episode of rolling during colic

Surgery is an often-inevitable treatment of serious colic and complications are common. It is imperative that you are aware of the risk and the expense involved with colic surgery and the intensive care and management that are necessary after the surgery. The most common and serious problems that arise after surgery include adynamic ileus, adhesions, and peritonitis and consequently recurrent colic or abdominal pain.

Adhesions

What is it?

Adhesions are fibrous tags that form between pieces of intestine (Fig. 2) or between the intestine and the body wall. It is believed that these adhesions originally form to help supply blood to a compromised piece of intestine but troubles arise when these beneficial adhesions do not break down and begin to cause potentially fatal problems. These consequences can include intestinal obstruction and strangulation, decreased gut motility and ileus, as well as recurrent abdominal pain and colic.

Why does it occur?

Any insult to the peritoneum (the tissue lining the body wall) or the surface of the intestine will open the door to adhesion formation. Decreased blood supply, distention, drying, and abrasion of the intestine or peritoneum during surgical manipulation or the initial insult are all predisposing factors.

Treatment/Management?

Adhesion management is mainly centered on prevention. Proper surgical technique, minimal surgery time and tissue handling, use of adhesion preventing compounds during surgery and early recognition and rectification of predisposing conditions such as ileus and peritonitis can go a long way to decreasing the incidence of adhesions. However, even after a seemingly successful surgery and recovery a horse may still succumb, and unfortunately adhesions are a major reason for euthanasia and death after abdominal surgery. Occasionally, a second surgery may be necessary in an attempt to break down the adhesions but this is generally unsuccessful and the adhesions usually reform with even more complications.

In Conclusion

Each of these complications is unfortunately frequently life threatening. This, however, does not mean that all is lost. Newer treatment techniques and constant vigilance make survival rates better than ever but it is not an inexpensive undertaking. These problems require intense monitoring and care and expense is often a limiting factor. You need to remember that colic is usually never just colic and the complications can be worse than the problem that started it all.

So hope u guys understand the article. Feel free to ask if u have any questions..

It is finally done! and at 10 am in the morning?!! WTF

Its currently 10.04 am, and I am still awake.. already so tired by now.. can't sleep as I wonder where he could be.. The blog was finally done, finished adding my final touches, finally, after trying out so many different looks for my blog.. at last decided dat d most simple was the best ( at least to my opinion). this is me, i get addicted to things easily, and when i picked up sumtyn to do, its so hard for me to stop until it is done.. always this stubborn part of me.. whether in life, work, or in love.. i dun let go things easily..

Got another job interview, which i passed, again.. Huh after diz I'm surely will be marked as a no show interviewee.. damn it lar! since I was waiting for the new mbbs semester to start, probably around June, i was stuck at home doing nothing.. Juz got the letter from college saying the interview for MBBS entry was goin to be on 8th May.. So for the time being I thought of finding a temporary job, just to gain some new experiences, networking a little bit, and earning some extra cash along the way.. But no luck.. been working hard sending my resumes everywhere, but ther have been some issues that prevented me from going. One of it was transportation. I have no transportation whatsoever, and i dun have a driving license.. pathetic ain't it? at 23 i still dun have a freaking driving license! huaaaa...anyway d 2nd reason was due to my parents, since they have objections for me to stay at ppl's houses just for d sake of goin to work, and to other issues as well.. Each passing day, i grew more and more frustrated as my boredom continue to grow. god, please bring me out of diz misery!!

Today reached d 6th day of my sickness.. i finally felt better. the fever was gone, but the tummy ache still lingers, but not as bad as before... Once again Shera survives this ordeal triumphantly. take dat u freaking intestines of mine! hahaha.. Me n my stomach didn't quite have the 'loving' relationship u see, as they always retaliated against me, preventing me from eating the spicy foods that I love most.. but I will get back to my spicy love soon, wait for me hun.. heheh

Okay I yawned like the 48th time now, i guess that is my que to sleep.. I have turned nocturnal nowadays, stay up at night, and sleep in d morning, and only wakes up at 5 pm or so.. So at 12.00, the vampire is finally signing off. adios!